-A glorious morning, in Sunny Spain, and we see the trailers all parked side by side, just beyond the gates of the Bullring of Antequera, where the planned shoot for the new “Oil of Ole’!” facial cream is being held. Inside Inga’s trailer, Inga is being fitted out for her dress rehearsel, in a period outfit, that dates back to 1946, as the Director has envisaged that the theme of the shoot, is to be of a famous bullfighter and his neglected aristocratic lover, who comes to watch him at the Corrida Goyesca. A spanish costume designer, is fussing over Inga, as she struggles to pin the dress to her, with Inga’s massive breasts, causing some wardrobe issues. With pins in her mouth, the designer is going off on a tirade in Spainish.”Si usted no posee aún, este vestido se abrirá abierto y todo el mundo vea sus senos. Quédate quieto! ¿Por qué tienes esas tetas grandes, esto no es natural. No se ve bien.”
(translation: “If you do not hold still, this dress will pop open and everyone see your breasts. HOLD STILL! Why you have such big boobs, this is not natural. It does not look right.”)
Inga squirmed about, every so often making an “Ow” sound when she got pricked by a pin, as the designer was getting impatient with her. Kraus, who was laying on their bed, flicking through his Superman comic, glanced up and saw his most precious Inga, looking adorable in the classic post World War two costume. “You look beautiful, Baby. Just hold still for the nice woman with the pins and then you get to go meet Antonio. I think Nanna Noonie is already over there saying Good morning.”-
Yes, Nanna Noonie, was up early, very early. She was knocking on his trailer at five am, when a dishevelled looking Melanie Griffith, opened the door. “WE ARE NOT TO BE DISTURBED!!!” -she shouted at Nanna Noonie, who was standing at the foot of the stairs, holding a basket and her autograph book. One thing can be said for Nanna Noonie, when she wants something…she gets it. “Oooh…I comez…all the vay from Prague…and I ‘ave but one vish in life, before I met my God. And dat iz do give my ‘ome made cake to Antonio. I even got up at nightz to make it for ‘im. I even brought special ‘erbs from ‘ome, yah?” -she put on the universal cat eyes, that even Puss in Boots could not match. Melanie huffed and grumbled loudly, as there could be heard some walking towards the door, and it was none other than Antonio himself. Melanie threw her hands up, and marched back to bed, as Antonio gave Noonie a big smile, and said. “Won’t you come in, I am Antonio. How can I deny such a beautiful woman on this day. I will not stand before God, and not share your cake with you. Coffee?” Nanna Noonie grinned slyly, and entered his trailer, closing the door behind her.
Just outside of Inga’s trailer, Sven Adolfsson, Inga’s agent, is going over the production plans with the director, Michael Haussman, who was famous for not only his artwork, but also his commercials for Levi’s, Absolut, BMW, Yves Saint Laurent, Guinness, Adidas, Ray-Ban, Volkswagen, Coca-Cola, Budweiser and Replay. The surrounding area, had been cordoned off, with vintage cars and people dressed in period costume that were to attend the bullfight. Antonio, had insisted that when the shoot took place, that he would not require a stunt double, even though, he had the option of Spanish bullfighter Emilio Muñoz, to do the difficult and dangerous scenes. Sven, who was also a big fan of Antonio, but preferred him in his earlier work, was marvelling over the layouts, and sheer amount of money being poured into the shoot. Inga, was set to be a world wide celebrity, with the making of this commercial, which promotes the facial cream “Oil of Ole!”, that just so happens to have the extra ingrediant of Bull semen in it, for that extra special glow. Sven took off his straw hat, and waved it in front of his face, fanning himself. “I had no ideaz…Spain was so hot.”- he fretted, and then he heard the crowd behind the baracade cheer, as Inga stepped out of her trailer, her hair done up in a bun, wearing a small black cocktail hat, with veil netting that covered much of her face. The dress, a two piece suit, in cream, with fine silk stockings, and seam back. Matching patent black shoes, suitable for the late 1940’s, and her makeup, done to perfection, she looked like she had just stepped out of a time machine from that era. Inga was the picture of style and sophistication, and for the first time, she didn’t behave like a brat, but waved at the crowd, as Kraus came out behind her holding up an umbrella. Course, he was dressed in his favourite Superman T’shirt, and jeans, but was allowed on set, since he was of course Inga’s fiance’.
“Okay….time is money, People. Can someone get Antonio out of his trailer, I want this to start in fifteen minutes.”- Michael, the director shouts through his megaphone, then walks up to Inga, and looks her up and down, from toes to her pretty little hat. “Right, you know what you have to do? You enter the Bullring, through the gateway, over there on my right…right? You are to go up to the VIP area and sit with the officials, being played by actual townspeople here.”- The director gestures with his hand to a group of men in suits, that all tip their hats at Inga, who blushes wildly, her eyes filled with excitement, as she tries to take this all in. “Okayz….and dhen, I vait for Antonio, to come out….and I throw the red rose? Yah?” The Director beams, since he thinks Inga might not be the airhead, a lot of people in the press have made her out to be. “RIGHT. Then…we let out the bull. Antonio swings his little red cape. The crowd yell out “OLE!”, you look at the camera and say. “I cannot start the day, without my Oil of Ole’!” Inga nodded and then jiggled slightly, as a pin came undone, and exposed her slightly at the front. The Costume designer came running over and quickly pinned her back up, shaking her head. “¡No hagas eso!” (translation: “Don’t do that!”)
The door to Antonio’s trailer opens and a giggling Nanna Noonie comes down the stairs, having not only Antonio’s autograph, but he had eaten all of her special cake. Sven catches sight of her and runs over, trying to steer her out of the way of the film set, which she is pointing at and laughing. “Evita!”- she chortles, not making much sense at all. “Are you okay?”- Sven asks, wondering why she was acting more bizzare than normal. Nanna Noonie patted Sven’s arm and whispered- “He LOVES Nanna Noonie’s cake. He ate it all.”- Sven had no idea what that meant, and ushered to the director’s area and got her a seat, as there were a series of screens, that showed all the action going on both inside and outside the Bullring. The Director, tapped his foot, waiting for Antonio to make his appearance, wondering what was taking him so long. The ceremonious entry of the Cuadrillas and the Alguacile was about to start, and the mounted Picadors were getting impatient, their horses pawing the ground in readiness.
Suddenly, the door to Antonio’s trailer flies open, and a dashing looking Antonio emerges, with a rather odd looking smile on his face. Sven spots this right away, and thinks that maybe he got some with Melanie that morning. “Lucky Bitch.” – Sven muttered, going back to watching the screens, as the chosen bull in the ring is being teased by the Cuadrillas. Inga is given the green light to get out of the vintage car and make her way past the children, that are pasting up the sign on the wall of the bull ring, that has a picture of the bullfighter slaying the bull on it. The crowd of extras in the stands all cheer, and Inga takes her place in the VIP box, holding onto the red rose. Kraus is over by the director, gazing at the close up shot of Inga, and he is so amoured at her beauty, he can’t help but give his bulge in his jeans a rub, aroused by seeing her on the monitor.
Antonio, dressed as the Matador, in his fine golden suit, known as the suit of lights. A heavily embrodied waistcoat, that captures the light of the sun. With ever so tight pants, and boots, he marches out into the bullring, swishing a red cape, that hides inside it, a long sword. On cue, Inga rises to her feet, and tosses a red rose towards Antonio. The bull who has up till this moment, been taunted by the Cuadrillas, and weakened by the repeated strikes of the picas and join those on foot whom plant their bandillas. It all looks so real. And it was. But Antonio was suppost to snatch up the rose, sniff it and toss it back to her, so to trigger the audience, and she could say her line. Instead….Antonio bent over, picking up the rose, and started to dance around, smelling the rose and laughing loudly. The bull, caught sight of the swirling cape, and started to charge Antonio, who was on another planet thanks to Nanna Noonie’s special cake. The bull….didn’t miss.
“Ole!” the crowd shouted out, as Melanie screamed “GOD NO!” Inga bit her lip and stared at the camera in shock.
“I can’t…I can’t…start my day..without…Oil of…”
The bull came back for a second turn, and this time Antonio went flying, as the crowd finished what Inga was suppost to say. In her fright, to see Antonio being gouged repeatedly, she jiggled and the pins gave way in her dress, exposing her breasts to the camera.