-Seated in the First class section of the Boing 747, Inga, Kraus, Nanna Noonie and Sven Adolfsson, are enjoying the creature comforts of the plush Czech airline. Their destination is Madrid Barajas Airport, in Sunny Spain, where Inga has her first ever commerical shoot for the Pevonia Botanica company product “Oil of Ole’ “. Inga, is seated with her ever adoring Kraus, who has his nose buried deep into a collectable Superman comic. Across the aisle, is of course, Sven who has his nose wrinkled up, as he has Nanna Noonie seated right near the window. Nanna Noonie, the matriarch of the Snoggleblom family, was brought along as a last minute decision, since Inga could not get her a place at the Heaven’s Gates Retirement home. Not only that, Nanna Noonie had something of a school girl like crush on Antonio Banderas, and with Inga doing the shoot with him for the new commercial, Noonie insisted she come along, as Chaperone. Now, Nanna Noonie, also found Sven very attractive and insisted to the flight hostess that she sit beside him for the flight, so that Kraus could have time with his beautiful Inga, and she could enjoy Sven’s company. Sven, on the other hand, was ready to go sit in ecomomy, till he found out they were having Lobster on the first class menu. Sven, kept wiggling uncomfortably, every time Nanna Noonie placed a craggy hand on his knee and squeezed it with all the strength of a Russian arm wrestler.”Do you wantz boiled…lolly? I sux and sux dhem. I can sux dhem….all day longz”
She would grip his knee and then with the other hand, shake the bag of boiled lollies at him, like she was some sort of geriatric pedo. Where is the white bingo hall van?
“Errr..no..no thank YOUZ…I….oh no no, I couldn’tz” -he cried, his voice so high, you would think she grabbed his balls and twisted them.
Dismay, oh that look on his face. Course, there was also the pungent mix of moth balls and that nasty old lady smell, which nearly made him gag. Sven, who is leaning away as far as he can from Noonie, kept shooting looks over at Inga, so he may be allowed to swap places, even though Inga, was totally oblivious, with her Hello Kitty Headset on, and listening to the latest from Katy Perry. Mouthing the words to “Damn”, she bops about in her seat, every now and then bumping Kraus’s arm. Not that he minds, he is just happy to know she is safe….and alive. Meanwhile, two seats behind, a dark coloured woman, wearing a fedora, dark sunglasses and long black coat, is casually flicking through a copy of Guns and Ammo, every now and then, letting her glasses slip down the bridge of her nose and peering over the top, with a well shaped brow raised, watching those that are ahead of her.
“Passengers, this is your Captain speaking, we will be arriving in Madrid in approximately fifteen minutes, so please make sure that your trays are raised, all electrical equipment turned off, no cellphones, or computers, while we commence our landing. Thank you for flying Czech Airlines.”
-Only fifteen minutes more of the torture for Sven, as took out a small square of pink baby blanket and rubbed it to his cheek, like an infant does when looking for comfort. “One one thousand…two one thousand…three one thousand…*nuzzles and sighs*….four one thousand…..Can someone make this plane go faster?’ -his thoughts outloud, as he could hear the lip smacking of Nanna Noonie, who was sucking on one of her sweeties. Kraus, who did hear the Captain speaking over the intercom, gently patted Inga’s shoulder and she looked at him, stopping mid song, as he urged her to take off her head set. “We’re landing shortly, Baby. You need to put on your seat belt and put away the headset. We are almost there.”- Inga squealed with excitement, taking off her Hello Kitty head set, and tucking it into her bag, which she then placed at her feet, and put on her seatbelt, with a little help from Kraus. Kraus tried to peek over Inga to look out the plane window, as they could both see Madrid Barajas Airport. Inga snatched up Kraus’s hand and gave it a tight squeeze. “I can’t believe it….SPAIN!..and Antonio Banderas! *squeals like a fan girl, her massive boobs jiggling under the tight cotton micro dress she is wearing, with the Hello Kitty motiff.
Meanwhile, at the Hotel Ritz in Madrid, Antonio Banderas is swimming in the pool, as his wife Melanie is arguing with his agent. “I don’t want my husband doing this silly commercial. I have seen E.T….I know this…girl with the big Boobs. You see what she did to that bull? Ugh. Disgusting. And her boobs…Fake fake fake! *she pouted with her oversized lips and finished with* “AND I don’t want my Tony touching THOSE THINGS!”- she roared, slamming down her cocktail and then marching off to her suite, as Antonio swam to the edge of the pool and looked over at his agent. “Do not mind her…she is always ranting about somethingz…Now…when do I meet this…Inga?” The agent smiled and took out the schedule, running his finger down the page. “Ah…pre production is….tommorow morning, very early, about six. I have John come get you, since I know Mel doesn’t usually argue with him.” Antonio nodded, and then raked his hand back through his wet locks, before dissappearing back under the water.
It took a few hours, to get through customs, and get all of Inga’s hello Kitty luggage, Nanna Noonie’s meds and Sven’s suitcases passed over, and thankfully Nanna Noonie was not arrested for her stash of hash, that she had stored in a secret compartment of her beauty bag. The limos that had been arranged by the Cosmetic giant, both BMW’s in black, were soon loaded up with their bags, and Inga trotted out as the papparazzi seized on the moment, to take some snap shots, which she stopped and posed for, Kraus standing with her, arm around her protectively, as the woman in the fedora, got into a red lambourgini that was waiting for her. Seems whoever she was on the flight, was going to be staying at the Ritz as well. Sven was gobsmacked by the sheer beauty of the Spanish capital, and tipped the drivers as he helped assist Nanna Noonie into the first car. He looked back at Kraus and Inga and said. “I take the Nanna to the hotel, and get her settled.” Kraus and Inga did not complain, getting into their waiting limo, Inga slid across and waved to the photographers, as the car pulled out from the curb. “I’m….sooo excited. I can’t believe I am here!”- she squealed, and took another look out of the tinted windows, only to see a huge billboard. It was her! A picture of her eating an ice cream at the beach. Somehow it had made it into an ad campaign for the local ice cream company.
The words written underneath in Spanish had the slogan. “”Uno lamer y su gancho.” (translation : “One lick, and your hooked.”)
Kraus, who saw the massive billboard, then looked back at his darling Inga, and moved across the seat, shooting a look at the driver, who may be watching. Not caring, since it was rare to get Inga anywhere alone these days, he started to undo the buttons to her micro dress down the front, giggling like he was a nervous school boy about to do something very naughty. With Inga’s bountiful breasts exposed, he buried his face between them and started to motorboat her, whilst she grabbed his head and encouraged him to lick the insides. His voice was muffled, and though the Inga was not up on her Spanish, the driver would have known what Kraus said next.
“Oh Dios, sí … es adictivo!” (translation : “Oh god yes…its addictive!”)
To be continued