On the set of “Nuns with Bad Habits”
Lot 3B DESPERADO Inc Studios, Prague
Time : 11.30am
–The director stormed into the makeup room, where Inga Snoggleblom was being expertly touched up, by the camp fashion stylist and makeup artist, Phillipe De Gros. Both had been deep in conversation about the idea of either sending Nanny Noonie to a retirement home, or hiring her out to be a sex therapist to the butt boys of Prague High society. Phillipe was busy dusting Inga’s cheeks and commented. “Well at least she knows where to stick it right.”- Inga grizzled and then snatched the brush from Phillipe and finished doing her own makeup, as the Director tapped his foot, and then pointed to the clock. “Time’s money, Inga…can we get a move on, and you get into that nun’s habit, and hurry to the set. Ivor Rissen is on a tight schedule, and I want to get this scene shot today…so…chop chop.”- Inga leapt up from her chair and took the nun’s costume, going in behind the screen, as she took off her Hello Kitty garb, and started to slip into the sexy Nun’s outfit. Phillipe was cleaning up his kit, when he chortled. “I hear that Ivor is hung like a Stallion. You sure you can fit all that in your little…box?”- Inga laughed from behind the screen, as she stepped out and adusted her tights and garter. She ran her nailed finger up the back seams, and did some stretches, limbering up. “You’re just jealous that I am going to have a religious experience. Yah?… Hehehe.”- The catty fashion stylist wobbled his head and said, “Should have brought Noonie and then we get to see Ivor kick in the back door.”- Inga flipped Phillipe the bird, and strutted past him, out onto the set.
-The set for the porn flick, “Nuns in Bad Habits” was dressed to look like a nunnery, with crusifixes and paintings of the Virgin Mary and Jesus on the walls. Candles on tall stands, illuminated the stage, and Inga trotted in, as the camera crews were getting ready, the lighting department adjusting the lights that lit up certain parts of the set. The Director sang out to his assistant to fetch the hunky Russian porn star out from his dressing room. Inga continued her warm up, doing bend and snatch, then the splits, which looked rather comical in her nun’s habit. It was then a deep voice spoke to her as she was sprawled out on the floor. (Ivor)””Elloz…I am Ivor…your co-ztar, Mizz Ingaz.”- Inga stared up at the half dressed priest, with the collar around his neck, and the most handsome face. Biting her lip, she got up off the floor with a bit of help from one of the crew, and took his hand, which he kissed. (Ivor)”Youz are more…er beautifulz…in dhe vlesh.”- the Director stormed on stage and ordered quiet on the set, then directed each to their markers, before he went to his chair and shouted (Director)”ACTION!”
-The Hunky priest, approached a kneeling Sister Inga, who was praying for salvation from her impure thoughts. Ivor reached out and touched the top of her head, running it down and so she would gaze up at him, her face just inches from his crotch.
(Nun Inga)”Father…forgive me..I am not what a nun should be…I want to give myself over to God…but….but…”- Her voice broke off as she started to unzip his pants, and Priest Ivor looked up at..a crucifix (Nun Inga)”Father….Father….I want to…suu…”- suddenly her hand was feeling about in his pants, and she turned to the camera and said- “His penis…is limp…I cannot vork with this….”- The director jumped up out of his chair and shouted- (Director)”CUT CUT…CUT FUCKING CUT!”- Storming up to the pair, Inga still feeling about in Ivor’s pants, the director glared at Ivor and said. “What is it? You are suppose to have worked up a fat by now. Big scene requires a hard dick…now what is the matter?” – Ivor then pointed at the Crucifix and said- “Jesus…is looking at me. I cannot do it in front of the Son of God.” Inga looked over her shoulder at all the pictures of Jesus and the crucifixes and then up at Ivor. “Would a Swedish penis pump help? I have one in my car.” The Russian actor stepped back and zipped up his pants. “I am Ivor..I am a professional…but, I can never say I need a penis pumperz”- Inga wiped her hands and replied- “Well you need something, cause, your pee pee is smaller than Tangle’s.” -she said, wiggling her pinky at him. The Director started to yell at the Russian, who was by now getting ready to leave the set. “You signed up to play a priest…You will use the pump and you will fuck Inga till I say not to.” At this, the Russian grabbed the director around the throat, and started to strangle him, as the rest of the crew all dived in and a brawl broke out on the set, as Inga scurried away on her hands and knees, all the while being filmed by the news station crew.
-Back in the safety of her dressing room, Inga was getting out of the nun’s habit as Phillipe De Gros was coming back in after going out to watch the fight on set. Phillpe flopped down in a couch and reached over to the fruit basket that was a gift from Ivor to Inga before the shooting. Peeling back a banana, Phillipe asked. “I always thought the whole taboo thing of sex with a nun would be a turn on…well…for the straight men, any ways.” It was then the pair of them could hear the sudden thump thump thump against the wall, and Inga and Phillipe looked at each other oddly. Getting up, they sneaked around the corner and peeked into Ivor’s dressing room, where he had the director bent over the couch, and was doing his “Back door” (Ivor)”OH ….GOD!!…Oh GOD!” Phillpe burst out laughing. “Seems he favours God now…” <3>